i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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