This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
