I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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