It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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