I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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