The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
