He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just high enough for therapy.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
