He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
time to smoke my breakfast
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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