I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
