he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
