So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
