I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
