Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
