Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
