it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
