I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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