i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize