youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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