she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
