Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
