Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
