We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
