We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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