He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I intend to get homeless drunk
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
