Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
