My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
