you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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