Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
