I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
