Fine. I'll sleep in my office
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
