Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
