you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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