he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
