I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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