Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
