so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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