hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Do vagina's smell?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
