im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize