Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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