The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
