I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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