I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
