Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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