He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
