Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
