I just cut my nipple shaving
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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