'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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