very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
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