Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
