I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
