PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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