i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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