i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize