Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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