I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
