When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Randomize
