I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
