omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize