He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
