so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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