We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
