Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
