Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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