there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
