Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
