his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
