dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
